Wednesday, July 25, 2007

An official announcement from Monte-Cristo



(last update: O2.04."14)We, Louys, by Heirdom and Election POPP of Monte-Cristo, have the pleasure to announce that a special representation of Purcell's Faerie Queene will open the Season Festival of the Open Air Opera, among the roses and mimosas.


For the progressive minds with an interest in experimental performances a mute Phantasmagorie avec machines "Dream of the Rarebit Fiend" is currently played twice a day at the 'little theatre' of the Casino:



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We enjoy this opportunity to remind People of High Breed, Wealth and Culture, that our famous Thermal Baths are again open to the discerning visitors. Traditional water cures using the hot thermal springs are now complemented by a whole range of nursings using the sea water and its products: exotic massages with sea mud, immersion in warm seaweed… what the modern doctors call ‘thalassotherapy’. And no healing sojourn in Monte-Cristo would be complete without an abundant consumption of our famous MC Green, a very strong liqueur and medecine, requiring 3 years of maturation (and at least 80% alcohol) following a recipe elaborated a millenium ago by holy monks devoted to the Welfare of Humankind. The range of illness cured is incredibly wide, and besides it is renowned as a sovereign help to digest heavy meals or disturbing surprises.


In the glamorous rooms of our Casino one will chance upon many interesting Characters and Personalities. Huge amounts of gold change hands daily here as gambling debts. For greater convenience, a special 'V.i.p. annex' of the Presipapal Customs Office is housed in the ground floor. The Casino, together with the Bains-Thermes and the Paris H. Palace are State owned and under a common executive staff. The three Establishments are directly connected by discreet yet pleasant alleys and underways.


Totally renovated, the Paris H. (pronounce : Parish) Palace Hostel had been rebuilt according to the best local tradition to keep unclement weather and annoying noises from disturbing our Guests, i.e. with inner walls as extremely thick as the outer ones. Numerous boudoirs, smoking rooms and lounges (with free marquisetta, punch or sangria according to the day) are at the disposal of our Guests, all with several padded double doors opening in different corridors. The staff is chosen by the Presipality for its total discretion, ‘deaf and mute’ being the motto.


The Presipapal Bank for Sustainable Development and Constantly Increasing Profit is fully characterized by two keywords: Security and Secrecy. A complex system of multiple passages and double stairs insures that within the building you’ll only meet (and be seen by) employees of guaranteed total discretion. Additionally, a system of underground passages allows, if wished, to enter and leave the Bank from several innocent shops nearby.




The heavenly weather of Monte-Cristo makes it the Pearl of the Cote d’Azur.





The local specialities of candied fruits, pralines and nougat, accompanied by our typical Anised Absinth long drink and our bubbly rosé, provide an important contribution to the pleasure of our Guests. Additionally, our admirable sujects traditionally grow a peculiar smoking herb (not tobacco) with proven medicinal and relaxing properties.

All in all, foreigners discover how much this little paradise is propitious to quiet conversations and peaceful, unpassionate exchanges. Tension, aggressivity soon disappear here. No surprise that the Constitution of our Presipality takes up only two short articles: -Art.1: Do no harm to your fellow man, -Art.2: This fairly understood, live as you wish. Art. 2 fully protects the intimacy of your Guests’ private life and dealings, as long as they do not make themselves obnoxious enough to blatantly transgress Art. 1.




For those caring and enlightened parents who sent their daughter to our Ecoles des Demoiselles or their son to receive a perfect young gentleman's education as a page of the Presipapal Palace, the festival offers a golden opportunity to visit their beloved child and see how she / he is faring.



A note of warning: according to the Law of Monte-Cristo «ugliness rather than nudity being obscene», young and fairly built people can go all naked (though most still wear shoes, and some form of head protection against the sun at its hottest): this is the traditional costume of the youth, weather permitting. Thus, our visitors should not be surprised to discover that, while the staff & servants of the Hostel and Bankare fully dressed, most of the gardeners of both sexes (= # all except the oldest) attending the flower beds who respectfully salute them as they pass, wear only a straw hat, a green apron and clogs...
Reciprocally, the whole year around people can wear masks as during the Venice Carnival, nobody would even notice it (by the way, the Mardi Gras parade on Monte-Cristo Bourbon Street is not to be missed).




The traditional costume of young & /or fair Monte-Cristans is propitious to a leisure activity peculiar to the Presipality, 'sunbathing', enthusiastically adopted by many foreign visitors.




Free Traveler's Guide to Monte-Cristo and Who's who in the Presipality booklets are available on request.





While discretion obviously forbides to mention names, more than thirty-seven Personages of High Birth and Influence, coming from more than twenty-two Uropean Courts, are announced for the Opening of the Baths Season. The Gallian 'Lady of Beauty' Claire Boisson, Marquise de Pompundur and philosophers of insatiable curiosity such as Lady Pettygree, the Chevalier d’Eon and Milady de Winter a rumored to appear soon.







It is hoped that such characters who, for professional reasons, tend to meet and interact in remote points of our planet such as the Bahamas, will find how much more convenient it is be to go no further than Monte-Cristo.







In the name of the Country and the People of Monte-Cristo,
We, Louys, warmly welcome our Visitors.




Part
of a diorama "A Monte-Cristan market in winter" realized by the talented artists of the Kobblestone studio
(a few inaccuracies -too many oxen, no goat cart, the 'church' is actually an administrative building...- but the general atmosphere is well conveyed)
On their stall "la boulangère fait voir ses miches et la poissonière sa raie".





Image d'Epinal showing how our Presipality is perceived in European courts
'winter' picture - soft version



Traditional Monte-Cristan folk-song.































Les Cris de Monte-Cristoin the deep of the harshest winter




































































































But as soon the weather is barely tolerable
it's no longer
Meissen
but

Messeins





Maria Elena Cantrel de San Miguel
reportedly one of the mysterious Presipapal 'wives'

4 comments:

abdul666 said...

WAITING FOR THE ARRIVAL

{Reich Duke and Duchess von Beerstein, young King Basil, and entourage head the for the Presipality of Monte-Cristro. From Mitteland to the Presipality the Royal Tourists will proceed through cheerful and –for the time being- peaceful countries: Venesia, Valerno, San Marco, St Bruno …}


Monte-Cristo is ready to welcome young King Basil, Reich Duchess Lynda and Reich Duke Wilhelm with our ceremony of official greeting. Our prestigious guests could not come and honour us at a more favorable time: the weather is fine but not too hot, as happens sometimes in the deep of summer despite the proximity of the sea (everywhere in the Presipality "On sent la mer d’ici! ").
Thus the young and fair Monte-Cristans are wearing their traditional costume, the (in)famous «trikini» (becomes the ‘monokini’ when barefooted).


As part of the Season Festival of the Open Air Opera, this week offers each afternoon a representation of Purcell’s Faerie Queene after an appetizer of -diverse - of his other pieces. Our special guest of the Year, the Bluebird Ballet from Mitteland, performs on several on them.


Given the taste of our welcoming population for music and enjoyement, by a decades-old unwritten tradition foreign musicians, players of bagpipe or hurdy-gurdy (and any instrument if they play good music) come to Monte-Cristo at the time of the festival –from whole Europe and all around the Mediterranean Sea- to perform for free in the streets and squares and in the Grand Parc Recreatif (somewhat to the annoyance of the timid animals in the attached Zoo).
A special this year, the Palace has invited the Mehter Takımı as part of the ‘cultutal exchanges’ covering our convoluted diplomatic efforts to revive the alliance between Versailles and Istanbul.


The Great Hall of the Musee des Arts et Sciences currently harbors our famous Annual Exposition d’Arts Orientaux, enriched of new pieces. The staff of the Presipapal Library is selecting the portfolios and books our Guests will receive as souvenirs.


We hope Her Highness Reich Duchess Lynda will greatly honour our gentle People by kindly agreeing to tour the City and Peninsula as Special Head of the jury for our Spring competitions of Flowered Streets, Squares, Hamlets and Villages. Hopefully Her Highness will not be disturbed by the fact that here, even when presenting their works to the Jury, most of young gardeners wear only a straw hat (for the boys, respectuously held in hands), a green apron and wooden shoes.


In the meantime, given their ruling responsabilities facing serious matters related to our troubled times, the Prince and the Reich Duke will be given demonstrations of our recent achievements in military research and development.
They will also have the unique opportunity to witness the drill and evolutions of the Peshawar Lancers, an exotic mercenary outfit at the moment in transit on our peninsula.
Each of your Guests will be presented with an annotated copy of Maurice de Saxe’s Reveries: the Marechal gave us several copies of of a ‘secret’ edition printed under his direction (and far better than the posthumous edition).
As a mark of trust and friendship, various pieces of information recently gathered by our Service will be revealed and the march, 12 ‘Secret Synthesis’ commented upon.

Then to end the days on a relaxing tone, we offer for instance the Musical Plays at the Casino: while at the Great Theatre & Concert Hall a gothic drama retelling a popular German legend is performed in alternance with an amusing (if somewhat controversial by foreign standards) comedy, a smaller theatre offers more sophisticated shows.
But, honestly, we would not encourage our Guests to gamble in this establishment…


We have to confess to be less well equipped as for answering the possible spiritual needs of our Guests. But they would benefit, if they wish, from interviews with another honored visitor: Cardinal Maximilian von Roskilde is still our wiling ‘prisoner’. As we understand it, this Holy Man sees his sojourn in our jail as the fulfilment of some kind of ex-voto, a self-imposed mortification in thanksgiving for the happy conclusion of his chaotic sea journey.


We will invite Young King Basil to open the last night Grand Bal d’‘Au Revoir’.

Thus we are waiting for for the arrival of Reich Duchess Lynda, Reich Duke Wilhelm and Prince Basil in full confidence to offer them a pleasant –both enjoyable and and instructive- staging stage in their Grand Tour, in a peaceful and secure haven sheltereed from obscure plots and away from all wars, known or occult

We’ll leave to our Sovereign Guests to comment, if they wish, on their sojourn in our Country.


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abdul666 said...

THE (IN)FAMOUS MONTE-CRISTAN TRIKINI


A straw hat or headscarf, and a pair of shoes...

On soft ground, easily gives way to the monokini (the hat).

Actually, Monte-Cristan women are not fond of hats -remembering that, according to Paul, Corinthians I, "women have to cover their hair as a mark of their fundamental inferiority to men": a mere flower is their favorite headgear. Thus, except in the brightest, hottest sun they generally turn to the Monte-Cristan bikini (the shoes...); or, more often than not, to the zerokini.


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abdul666 said...

FOREIGN VISITORS TO MONTE-CRISTO: A BILAN ON 7 YEARS

Monte-Cristo was created as a kind of Monaco to provide EvE members with a 'neutral ground' for secret diplomacy and spying. The spies-counterspies game never took off, but now and then some personality from an 'Emperor vs Elector' Imagi-Nation honors the Presipality with a visit. Sometimes, it's true, by accident (but such visitors seem to enjoy their sojourn); most of the time on their own will, e.g. a 'commercial agent' from Waldreck, the Great Duke of Saxe-Beertsein during his Grand Tour of Eve-Europe and soon after the fair ambassadrix from Cavenderia. Katarin Lahmia, the mysterious Direktorix from Herrschaden, came officially to raise a Legion of Monte-Cristan volunteers. A religious personality even came from the antipodes and departed deeply enlightened. More recently a representative of resistant Catalonia had a fruitful sojourn here (details on the 'Defiant Principality' blog there and later posts; see also there and newer posts under the label Claire Baizanville).
Time being as elastic a space in the 'Emperor vs Elector' universe, while some visitors come from 1713 and some from the aftermath of the SYW, their sojourn in Monte-Cristo always takes place in 1745.
But when there is no foreign visitor nothing ever happens in merry Monte-Cristo.

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abdul666 said...

CLAIRE BAIZANVILLE PRESENTED ON 'EMPEROR VS ELECTOR'

As an exemple of exemple of 'not time-consuming' but enjoyable and fruitful friendly interaction between 'EvE' members.

This post, and comments to the OP lamenting the lamenting the current lack of such interactions, offered an opportunity to look back on foreign visits to the Presipality.

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